Waking Up to a New Life

I received an email, from a photographer, in response to my blog.  In the end of her letter she wrote, “Congratulations in waking up to a new life! ” The words kept circling in my mind.  I couldn’t help but ask the question, what does it mean to ‘wake up to a new life’?

It seems that I have had many awakenings along this journey of mine.  I’m not exactly sure when I fell asleep, but I do know I’ve been waking up for a while.  Every time a part of me comes out of denial, into the light, into the truth, into moment, I wake up to something new, something alive.  It’s as though it was always there, but lay dormant until my willingness breathed life into it.

There have been years that parts of my soul slept right through.  In my youth, shutting down was a survival method.  There was no way I could have handled all those feelings with so little maturity on board.  However, I used those coping mechanisms far beyond the days of my childhood.  I slept through thousands of red flags in past relationships.  I turned off the lights in career choices, friendships, and in much of my life.  I lived from the place of ,  ‘if I don’t want to look at it, I’ll just ignore it’.

One day, ignoring it quit working.  I became extremely uncomfortable with my life, with my choices, and with my unstable emotions.  Because I couldn’t stay that way any longer, I became WILLING.  I surrendered my life to my Higher Power, whom I call God.  With open hands and a trembling heart, I said, I’m willing to wake up.  I want a new life.

From that moment I’ve been in a series of awakenings.  Some have been painful, excruciatingly painful to walk through.  Like coming out of anesthesia, it hasn’t all been clear at first.  I’ve stumbled, more than once.

However what I’m coming to is this,

It is worth the pain of opening your eyes, to live with your eyes wide open!

My boyfriend told me a story last week about getting his first pair of glasses as a young child.  He told me that once he put the glasses on,  he turned to his mother and said, “Mom, the trees have leaves on them.”

You see, we actually get more when we wake up.  It isn’t just a tree, it’s a tree with leaves!  It’s scary to get clear, but it’s so worth it.

So may you endure the pain of waking up, knowing the abundance of new life that waits for you.

(The photographer I spoke of in the beginning of this post, I checked out after reading her email.  She’s very good!  I highly recommend you take a peek at her work.  http://jeanhuangphotography.wordpress.com)  Enjoy!

— Tyler Hayes

—- sending you love wherever you are in the world