Tyler's Blog

Thanksgiving….here we come.

  We will gather.  Around tables and televisions, in living rooms and dining rooms, in homes and hotels, we will find our way to each other.  To our families of origin or our families of choice, we will bring our past year and our present moment.  And, some of us,...

The Love of Your Life

Love is a subject that fascinates me.  I am intrigued by the stories we attribute to it’s power, to heal and hold, to harm and leave, to stay or go, to live and die.  What I have found in myself and commonly in my clients, colleges, and friends, is the idea that Love...

REGRET

Regret is not a posture of wishing, but a relationship with non-existence. 

The Courage to Grieve

“Sorrow held in is sorrow.  But sorrow let out is the song…” -  Mark Nepo I am uncertain wether we come to Grief or Grief comes to us, but one way or the other we meet.  It is a sacred meeting, though it may feel anything but.  Grief, in her beautiful wisdom comes to...

Face-off Book (a story of realness)

If we are truly honest, most of us post amazing pictures on social media, not because they accurately represent our lives, but because they represent the lives we wish we were living.  Even the real pictures, those happy candid rare moments we sometimes capture, don't...

WHAT IF…

WHAT IF. “We are deceived whenever we find ourselves thinking through ‘all the possibilities’ stirred up by a fearful moment, because the only possibility any of these fearful thoughts hold is which one of the is about to make us its prisoner.”  - Guy Finley The...

The Angel Unknown

“Driven by a hundred forms of fear…” The first time I read that line, many many years ago, I was stunned by the accuracy embedded in the words.  “Driven”.   I imagine that word to mean I am in a car, in the passenger seat, and at the wheel driving me where it wishes,...

I’m Afraid.

What are these tears, I ask her? I’m afraid, she says. Afraid of what, I ask her? I’m afraid I will need someone. And I don’t want to need anyone. I don’t want to need anyone at all. Why, dear? Because, they will hurt me. They will trap me. I know they will. They will...

January

JANUARY.  January seems to have become the great absolver.  It is as though once she arrives we are wiped clean and can begin again brand new.  Like the snow that falls on tired brown grass, making a blanket of purity, January covers us with cleanness.  We need it. ...

Message 6 – Casting ALL Your Cares

Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 I gave a gift to a few of my girlfriends at a cookie bake this Christmas.  It is a good thing I came bearing gifts, because my cookies looked like the work of a five year old.   In each gift I put a...

Message Five – It’s Okay

The Twelve Messages of Christmas Message Five. I have spent the better part of my adult life trying to make sure that nothing is wrong.  At some point along the way, I got enough recovery to know it was okay if something wasn't right with another person.  I had that...

Message Four – Live (and let Live)

The Twelve Messages of Christmas Message Four. Today is the day, in the middle of all this hustle and bustle, to keep the focus on yourself.  It might sound contradictory to the sentiment of "the season of giving", however, it's truly the best gift we can give. I was...

Message Three – Don’t Buy A Ticket

The Twelve Messages of Christmas Message Three. When I find myself in the middle of the crazy, I have to laugh, because the truth is, I bought the ticket to the show.  It used to make me furious when my mentor would say, "well it sounds to me that 'you made choices...

Message Two – Would It Help?

  The Twelve Messages of Christmas Message Two- Some months ago, I was watching the Tom Hanks movie, Bridge of Spies.  One of the main characters finds himself having been discovered as a foreign spy on American soil.   As his trial moves forward, knowing that he is...

Message One – IT’S NOT THEM.

The Twelve Messages of Christmas Message One…. “IT’S NOT THEM” Some years ago, I met a grumpy old man at a meeting in the basement of a church.  He appeared to be very irritated, all the time.  Of course, I sat right next to him at that meeting and many following ones...

Self Care

In a country where nearly 11 billion dollars is spent each year on “self improvement”, why is it we don’t appear to be improving?  Two thirds of Americans are overweight or obese.  One in every ten Americans takes an anti-depressant (one in ever four women take...

The God Spark

I have watched and listened over the last six years to countless numbers of participants come through The Song Workshop, wanting, desperately wanting, relief from shame, fear, depression, loneliness, and the idea that 'something is wrong with me'.   I have seen a part...

Feel It.

You are stronger than you think.  The thing you think will be too much, isn’t.  None of it has killed you, even when it felt like it would.  It didn’t.   You’re here.  You’re reading this, that means, the darkness did not win!  I know it’s tried.  Trust me, I know it...

Let’s Get Real

We all need each other. But more than that we all need each other to tell the truth. It’s hard and it’s wonderful all at once. Life is a gift that we were meant to dance in the middle of, but dad gum it we get lost on the sidelines hiding afraid because someone might see us, see our messy.

The Problem With Arguing

The origin of most arguments, like most wars, comes from two sources. Hurt and Fear. When I am either one of those, it’s on!

Am I Worthy? (part3/ finale)

I can already hear the argument, because I’ve made it myself, “but I don’t totally and completely love and accept myself.” That’s ok, just let the words come from your mouth and linger around your heart. It may be one of the first times you’ve ever said those words.

Am I Worthy? (Part 2)

Why am I the way I am, why am I in pain, why did this have to happen to me, why do I suffer, why do I have anxiety, why can’t I escape flashbacks and panic attacks, why do I love someone who hurts them, and why why why do I have such a strong inner punisher that blames me day and night.

Am I Worthy?

“Why am I not over this?”, I ask myself. “I should be better by now. This is ridiculous. What is my problem.”

Is Something Wrong, with Me?

And so, I prayed. And I opened my hands. And I felt my heart beating in my chest, hard. And I began to uncurl my fingers….

When It Feels TOO BIG.

When all is said and done, we are all just sitting in a chair holding our story. When we let our story go, we simply are.

The Story (and current events)

  As I pull out of my neighborhood, I see the flag at half staff.  I’m reminded of what’s happening in our country, in the world, and probably, on some level, right next door.  I can hear my own mind gathering up the “shoulds” and “should nots”, as if I know what’s...

Pain (when is it over?)

  Recently, while in session with a group at Milestones, I was sharing part of my story.  One of the participants questioned, "after all this time you still go through this stuff?  When does it end?"   I smiled, thinking, that's what we want with pain, we want it to...

Monday at the Murvies